Set Me Free
by Atropine
Summary: The Sanzo Ikkou is a day's journey from Houtou Castle, and Sanzo can't sleep. But neither can Goku, and he's got something to say. Will either of them ever get any rest? 39 pairing, oneshot, rated for friskyness.


**Author's Note:** Alright, so…I wrote this one night because a certain image of our favourite moody priest and his loyal monkey popped into my head completely randomly, and this it the result. Nothing too explicit, in my opinion, 'cause I only write them as I see them.

**Set Me Free**

A thin, steady wisp of smoke rose lazily up into the air from the Marlboro Red held loosely between two unmoving fingers. The delicate structure of ashes taking on the shadowed form of the cigarette it once was steadily grew, forgotten. A slightly crinkled newspaper was held in the other hand, though the monk's attention was about as far away from it as it could get.

The room was dark and befitting Sanzo's mood. Night had long since fallen, and the three men he traveled with had likewise long since turned in for the night in their own rooms. The inn they had holed up in happened to be in a very sparsely populated village that saw little traffic, save for the bi-annual trading caravans that passed through. Few humans remained any closer to the castle of Gyumaoh, for legends of his reign of terror and taste for human flesh were still passed down from generation to generation in the villages around here.

Almost exactly one year after his departure from Chang'an, Sanzo was finally skirting the edges of his destination. So much time had been wasted on useless detours he had nearly forgotten the whole purpose for being partnered up with three quasi-demons from hell that never ceased to give him trouble and rather high blood pressure.

The thought of their sorry faces made Sanzo grimace in distaste as he stamped out his wasted cigarette irritably. Suddenly fed up with sitting around or trying to get some sleep, he shoved himself back from the table he had been sitting at and wandered over to the window. His room was on the second floor and provided a decent view of the empty plain below the village. _'No cover,' _he noted. He wondered vaguely whether the others were having as much trouble finding sleep as he - then he sincerely wished it.

He cracked the window open to let in the dry night breeze. It felt somehow calming, and he found himself caught in the gaze of the stars above. Just as the thought that maybe, just maybe, he would finally be able to get a bit of rest, a soft knock came at the door.

_'Figures,' _he thought bitterly. Feeling obstinate, he made no move to open the door. "What?" he called out quietly, hoping whoever it was wouldn't hear.

"Sanzo!" Goku's unmistakable voice answered through the door. "Are you awake?"

"No, I'm talking in my sleep. Quiet or you'll wake me up."

The door creaked open quietly, and Goku peered in. "Um…can I come in?"

"You've never stopped to ask before, why start now?" Sanzo still faced the window but spoke over his shoulder. "Make it quick if you must, and keep your voice down."

Goku closed the door carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible. Light feet padded over to where Sanzo stood; neither of them spoke for a few moments.

"Well, what do you want?" Sanzo was forced to ask, quirking his eyebrow in annoyance.

The younger and smaller man looked up at the light haired monk, who was still wearing his robes down around his waist. Then he set his gaze down at the floor and spoke quietly. "I…can't sleep either. I keep tryin', and I got ready for bed like I always do and everything, but I can't stop all these thoughts from goin' nuts in my head."

"So what do you want me to do about it?" Sanzo asked, vaguely considering lighting another smoke for lack of anything better to do.

Goku just stared up at him again. "Aren't you worried, Sanzo?" he asked with his usual child-like simplicity.

"About what?" was the evasive reply.

"You know," Goku frowned. "About tomorrow. We're gonna go fight Kougaiji and all."

"It wouldn't be the first time," Sanzo replied.

"Yeah, but this time…one of us is probably gonna end up dead."

Sanzo finally looked over at Goku; his face had that mysterious, strangely serious face that didn't suit him.Sanzo hadn't seen it often, but he never liked it whenever he did. Somewhere in the farthest recesses of his mind, a part ofhim registered the fact that he didn't want to see Goku looking the way he had when he had first found him in that mountain prison - lost.

"Goku." The short brunet raised his face and met Sanzo's eyes. "Kougaiji lost himself a long time ago. It isn't his own will he serves anymore - he no longer has the will to stay alive to make him stronger."

_Whether this world is evil or not, the ones with the strongest will to live are the ones who survive._

The words from so long ago rang in both of their minds, remaining unspoken between them. Goku blinked a few times, then imitated Sanzo's reassumed position of looking out the window.

"Is that all?" Sanzo asked, hoping to be done with this soon.

"I just…don't like the feeling that I'm givin' Kougaiji a death sentence," Goku replied, looking innocently up at the stars.

Sanzo snorted before he could stop himself, then made a small strangled noise in disgust at it.

"Sanzo." Goku's voice was still serious, but he only looked at the monk with the same innocence with which he gazed at the distant stars. "You shouldn't…hate it when you have fun."

Dark purple eyes shadowed and Sanzo abandoned the window, instead making his way towards his bed. "If you're done then let me get to sleep, idiot." He turned back to glance at Goku and was surprised to find that the monkey in question was right behind him.

"Sanzo," he said again, looking up into those fathomless, amethyst eyes that he knew so well. "You know you don't…you don't have to keep holding yourself back anymore."

Sanzo's eyes were unusually wide; something swirled deep inside them, a virtual battle between instinct and indecision. His mask of perpetual anger cracked, and suddenly he felt the urge to run away.

_'Why!' _He screamed in his mind. _'Why does this stupid monkey say such stupid things? And why do they bug the shit out of my mind!'_

Goku's gaze never faltered as he slowly moved his hand to grasp Sanzo's arm. Like a thunderbolt, comprehension flashed into Sanzo's brain about exactly why he was having such difficulty dealing with this situation. It wasn't the conversation, which would have earned a good whack from the paper fan long ago under normal circumstances - it was Goku's proximity.

The crazed gleam in Sanzo's eyes faded away along with his desire to escape. He was indeed trapped, but the true realization of Goku's words had cemented his feet and stopped his mind racing. _'I don't have to hold myself back anymore…because no matter what I say…the truth is, I may not get another chance to let myself go.'_

Sanzo had never been afraid of death. On the contrary, he had welcomed it many a time and for many years. But then, something changed…very, very slowly, but it had changed nonetheless. There developed in him a desire for something; something that he had been telling himself he could only afford to indulge in after this ridiculous mission was over. But now he realized that there was no guarantee that it would still be there after tomorrow - if _he_ would still be there to allow himself to experience it.

He stared into those brilliant golden eyes, caught by their intense fire. Eyes that had seen nothing but his own solitude for centuries, and yet had sparked anew for the sole reason that Sanzo had come into their view. Those eyes had trapped him the moment they had locked onto his own, like the daylight cutting through the long night with a new dawn - he had been doomed from the start.

_'I'll be damned if I die regretting anything - especially if it's this stupid monkey's fault.' _And with that thought, he closed the distance between them, leaning down and capturing Goku's lips in a searing kiss.

The youth responded immediately, though somewhat awkwardly. He was trying to fight a smile while so engaged, happy that Sanzo had finally let himself go and only too eager to please. Goku gripped the monk's bare shoulders - the only part of him that _was_ bare - for balance when Sanzo's tongue slipped past his lips and began a slow and steady plundering of every nook and cranny.

Sanzo finally came back up for breath, breath heavy. _'What the hell am I doing?' _A small but clear voice sounded inside his head.

_'Whatever the hell I want,' _he immediately responded in kind, pulling Goku back to him in a kiss and sinking to sit on the bed. The younger - but so much _older_, Sanzo thought in passing - man snaked his arms around Sanzo's back, bringing one hand to grasp at the back of his neck while the other clenched the black fabric of Sanzo's shirt. It was as though he desperately wanted to make sure that Sanzo was really there - and that he wasn't going to leave.

As it stood, there was no chance of that happening. Sanzo ran a hand through Goku's unruly brown hair, savoring the tiny shivers of pleasure wrought from the other man by his ministrations. Never tearing their lips apart, he began unbuttoning Goku's light nightshirt until it fell from his shoulders. Finally free of the offending garment, Sanzo relished the feel of that bare skin beneath his fingers and suddenly longed to feel it against his own.

Pulling back briefly, he made quick work of the three separate pieces of that ever-so-familiar black number he wore beneath his robes, tossing them haphazardly over his shoulders and undoing the ties of the robe still wrapped around his waist. Finally all that remained were the pants he wore under it all, and he turned his attention back to Goku.

Their lips met in another kiss, but this one was short-lived. Sanzo leaned them both down onto his bed so that they were lying tangled up in each other and trailed his lips down Goku's jaw line to his neck. There he discovered a delightfully soft spot that gave him the urge to nibble - which he quickly gave in to, earning a soft moan from the smaller man.

Goku nearly let out a growl at the continued nipping at his neck, and he slowly began running his short fingernails up and down Sanzo's spine. The man arched satisfyingly into the touch, momentarily distracting him enough to allow Goku to get in a few tricks of his own. He flipped them both so that Sanzo was below him and began circling the tip of his tongue over a spot on Sanzo's exposed neck, nipping at it and moving down to his chest. He teased his way around a nipple and then grazed it with his teeth, eliciting a small gasp from the blond man beneath him.

Goku smiled up, almost wickedly. "You know, you could really use some sun," he said. "You're awfully pale."

"And you're awfully scrawny," Sanzo replied, dragging him back up to his face.

"At least I don't glow in the dark," Goku said softly, still smirking.

"At least I don't have a stomach for a brain," Sanzo replied, yanking Goku back down for a fiery meeting of mouths. This time Goku's tongue managed its way past Sanzo's hot mouth, trying to taste everything at once.

Sanzo reveled in the feel of Goku's slicked skin against his own. _'If this was just the beginning…' _

Suddenly, Sanzo felt that fire fueling him on dim down. When Goku came up for breath, Sanzo held him in place.

"Hm? Sanzo?" Goku questioned him with a glance.

Sanzo just shook his head silently. Goku stared at him curiously, but made no move to either continue or get up. Sanzo let out a barely perceptible sigh, then pulled Goku down to rest on his chest, placting his hand gently on Goku's head.

They remained like that for some time, their breathing evening out and heartbeats slowing down to normal. Goku pressed his ear to Sanzo's bare chest and listened to the steady thumping of his heart, finding the sound impossibly comforting.

"Hey, Sanzo…" he began softly.

"Hn," was the reply. Even the small sound resounded through his chest and rumbled through the smaller man on top of him.

"I did say you didn't have to hold yourself back anymore," Goku said reassuringly.

Sanzo ran his fingertips through Goku's hair slowly before answering. When the hand came to a stop, Goku wondered whether the man hadn't fallen asleep on him. But then he felt the rumbling again, and heard that familiar and golden voice from the dark. "…And I'm not."

Goku blinked blearily and then smiled contentedly. He absentmindedly swung his arm over Sanzo's waist and closed his eyes, asleep almost instantly.

Sanzo stared up at the dark ceiling for a while after Goku fell asleep. Finally he closed his tired eyes, letting the steady breathing of the small man in his arms lull him into a peaceful sleep the likes of which he couldn't remember ever having.


End file.
